When Sex with your Partner Gets Boring


Can Couples Gain Back the Honeymoon Feeling?

A number of couples realize that after some months or years into their marriage, they lose the excitement that they started with. This is entirely normal, as every relationship experiences its ups and downs. Couples also realize, over time, that they have mismatched sexual desires. Attending to children, as well as family, school, work, or other life happenings can take spouses` focus, and as a result, affect their sex drive.

With the right mindset and actions, you can get that honeymoon feeling back. Let`s see how!

How to Deal with a Boring Sex Life

Talk About it

You need to address this issue with your spouse, and no, it`s not a time to place blames. Don`t accuse them of anything, and don`t find any fault in each other. The purpose of this conversation is for you both to better understand the challenge and find possible solutions to it.

Make a Date

Once you’ve both had the conversation, you should talk about your schedules. Find out when you are both available with the most time, energy, and emotional capacity to attend to each other, and make a date.

Build Anticipation

Look forward to the date with your spouse. You should also say and text romantic messages to arouse their interest in the date. You may even set the scene by taking a bath together, making breakfast together, or playing some music that you both enjoy.

Prioritize Pleasure Over Performance

romanceFocus your mind on building bodily awareness and discovering what is pleasurable to you and your partner. Touch your partner for about 15 minutes without having them reciprocate. See how they respond to your touch, then switch roles. Share your experiences with one other, and sincerely discuss what you found most pleasurable, as well as what didn`t work for you.

Be Consistent

Practice mindful touch consistently for a while before introducing genital touch or penetrative sex. Rediscovering each other`s sexuality won`t be one-off. Keep touching each other and keep evaluating the experience. You may also try other forms of outercourse as you progress. So you should be consistent and intentional about this as your relationship and sexuality get revived.

Do a Proper Assessment

During the rediscovery process, you should both do a careful analysis of how you feel as individuals and as a couple. Key questions you should answer during this phase are?

You might find it helpful to ask yourself:

  • What were my initial expectations of my partner?
  • Are there resentments that might be getting in the way of sexual satisfaction with my partner?
  • How is my physical, mental, and emotional health?
  • What stressors am I facing? And how have I been managing them?
  • Have I experienced any major changes that could be affecting your libido?

Your partner, too, should answer these questions about themself. Discuss our responses as you both talk through your discoveries. You may, after this conversation, decide to see a sex therapist.

Foods that Boost Libido

In addition to the steps you just read, which to a large extent, will deal with psychological issues that may be affecting your sex life, there`s also a nutritional part. Let`s take a look at a few foods that will boost your libido and perhaps endear you better to your spouse.

Fatty Fish

You probably didn`t know that wild salmon, sardines, and tuna are packed with omega-3 fatty acids, and that nutrient raises dopamine levels in the brain. Yes, it`s that spike in dopamine that improves blood circulation, thereby triggering arousal. Dopamine increases relaxation, and may also make you feel more connected to your partner.

Seeds and Nuts

Try eating peanuts, hazelnuts, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, and hazelnuts, as they will improve your libido and even sperm quality. These nuts are particularly rich in amino acid and zinc, so you`ve got so much to get from them, beyond the sexual benefit.


applesApples are super-rich in quercetin, which is considered a sex antioxidant because it manages symptoms of sex-related illnesses. It also boosts the circulation of blood throughout the body. What`s more? Apples are rich in flavonoids which are popular for treating erectile dysfunction.


Beetroots are packed with antioxidants and dietary nitrates that widen the blood vessels to encourage blood flow. Try adding beetroots to your diet to improve sex performance. Its dietary nitrates nutrient is particularly great at managing high blood pressure.


Eggs are rich in protein and amino acids that ensure proper blood flow throughout the body, and as a result, prevent erectile dysfunction.

Some Sex Facts you Should Know

  • Sex toys aren`t new, as many think. People have used sex toys for some centuries.
  • Clitoral hood piercings don’t affect orgasm.
  • Circumcision doesn’t affect a man’s ability to orgasm.
  • The parts of the brain that process fear and vigilance shut down during orgasmic climax.
  • While an orgasm will burn 2–3 calories, you can burn up to 50 calories during foreplay and intercourse.
  • The San Francisco Center for Sex and Culture holds a Masturbate-A-Thon each year to encourage conversations around masturbation.
  • A report claims that about 15–20% of American women have never orgasmed.
  • The cerebral cortex and the limbic system are essential in boosting a man`s libido.
  • When a man gets sexually aroused, signals move from his cerebral cortex to other parts of the brain and nerves, thereby increasing his heart rate, as well as making more blood available in his genitals, then his penis gets erect.
  • The clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings, doubling the amount in the penis.
  • Studies claim that women who take hormonal contraceptives are more attracted to men who have less physical masculine characteristics, and with lower testosterone levels.
  • Most penises are the same size when erect, which is about 6-7 inches.
  • The limbic system is responsible for motivation, emotions, and sex drive.
  • Testosterone causes the growth of body hair, deepening of the voice, development of bone mass, muscles, the male sex organ, and sperm production.
  • A teaspoon of semen contains five calories.
  • The average speed of sperm during ejaculation is 28 mph.
  • Studies have shown that sex cures headaches.
  • People who have sex thrice a week are likely to look five years younger than those who don`t.
  • Research claims that people who masturbate often are less likely to suffer from diabetes and insomnia.
  • Some people orgasm while working out, due to tedious core movement
  • Testosterone heightens in the morning and lowers at night.
  • The word “clitoris”, in Greek, means “divine and goddess-like.”
  • The average woman can reach orgasm in about four minutes through masturbation, while through intercourse, it may take her 20 minutes.
  • In 24 American states, women can file for divorce on the grounds of impotence.
  • The cerebral cortex and the limbic system are vital in boosting a man`s libido.
  • Ithyphallophobia is the fear of seeing, having, or even thinking about an erection.
  • Upper Paleolithic art as far back as 30,000 years ago shows people using dildos for sexual pleasure.

Now that you Know…

Sexual satisfaction is significant in relationships. No matter how well couples start out, it is only natural to fall out on the grounds of intimacy. This is why it is necessary to make efforts to address the causes and revive sexuality in the relationship. Do well to follow the steps in this article, and watch your intimacy with your partner move to another level.